When the Stars Go Blue
Vaughn gets a new outlook on life. S/V, post-"Counteragent"
Post-"Counteragent" S/V fluff, written in November of 2002. My first fic ever!
~*~*~
Sydney stepped out of her car, shivering at the wave of cold that hit almost immediately. Why could Vaughn want to meet here? It’s midnight and freezing. She scanned the observation deck, finally locating him next to the railing. She stepped up beside Vaughn, careful not to look directly at him. With Security Section on her ass, she could never be too careful. “Hey Vaughn,” she said softly.
He turned slightly, a small smile playing upon his lips. “Sydney. Thanks for meeting me.”
“Anytime, Vaughn, you know that.”
He exhaled sharply, his breath coming out in puffs in the cool night air. He angled his head backwards and gazed up at the stars. “God, it’s beautiful here. The one place in L.A. where the streetlights don’t overpower everything. Here, Mother Nature has a chance to fight back. Take that, L.A.”
Sydney grinned, showing off her dimples as she looked up at the night sky. “Michael Vaughn, astronomer extraordinaire.”
“Except…not.”
They both laughed.
His face turned serious again. “Just looking up at these stars reminds me of how much I take for granted. Day by day, life just passes by. So many wasted opportunities. Lost dreams.”
Was that remorse she heard in his voice? She wondered if he was still shaken up by his scare this past week. “Vaughn, how are you feeling? Any lingering symptoms, side effects?”
“How am I feeling? Happy as hell to be alive. I know I told you before, but…thank you. I’d be dead right now if it weren’t for you.”
“I…my father and I…would never have let that happen.” No way was I losing you, she thought to herself. Never again. But then Alice flashed into her brain. Maybe I already have.
“Oh yeah, your father. Guess I should thank him too. Whadya think, is Jack Bristow a flowers or fruit basket kind of guy?”
Just the mental picture of her father receiving a bouquet of flowers was too much for Sydney and she started giggling. “Go for the balloons. No man can resist a bunch of balloons.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Sydney…” he held out his hands and motioned with his head to a nearby bench. “Come sit with me.”
“Vaughn.” She turned away and looked back up at the sky. “Are you insane?” she hissed. “We look suspicious as all get-out already. Sitting on a park bench together in the middle of the night isn’t exactly what Security Section would consider inconspicuous behavior. For all means and purposes we don’t even know each other, remember?”
Vaughn’s eyes darkened a bit. “Have a little more faith in me. Do you really think I would knowingly put you in danger?” At her questioning look, he sighed. “The only SD-6 personnel who even knows we’re here is your father. I asked him to arrange this for us.”
Sydney considered this. “So you just marched up to Jack Bristow and demanded a private meeting with his daughter.”
“Pretty much.”
She gave a very unladylike snort. “How’d that go over?”
Vaughn flashed his dimples and rolled his eyes, thinking about the scene from earlier that day. “Oh, it was a hoot and a half. That Jackie, he’s a funny guy.”
“Loving the sarcasm,” Syd said dryly. She sobered up a bit. “Why?”
“First things first.” He held out his hands. “Sit.”
Syd allowed her hands to be swallowed up by his larger ones. He’s acting really strange tonight, she mused. As they sat down, she tried to ignore how good it felt to have her hands enclosed in his.
“Syd, there are things to say. And I just felt more comfortable out here, amongst all this,” he motioned to the observatory and the sky, “than at the warehouse.”
She slowly pulled her hands out of his. “Vaughn, is this about a mission? Did we find out anything more about the Triad? Project Christmas?”
“No. For God’s sake, I didn’t ask you her so we could once again be Agents Bristow and Vaughn. For once, for one moment, I’m going to be Mike talking to Syd. OK?”
Sydney nodded.
“OK. Do you remember the last time we were here together?”
She smiled. “Yeah. We talked about hockey games. How ‘bout them Kings?”
“Exactly. Remember, I told you that I wanted to someday take you to a hockey game, and be able to look at you in public. A normal date with Sydney Bristow.” He stopped.
“Vaughn…” she stopped short at the glare he sent her way. “Michael…you can tell me anything.”
“Syd…that conversation was torture for me. There I was, next to the woman I loved, and I couldn’t tell her that I wanted to do so much more than take her to a stupid hockey game.”
“Excuse me, uh…did you say love?”
He chuckled. “Yeah.”
“You…love me?”
“More than I could ever say.”
“But…when? How?”
“When? It started with the bozo hair, and I think I was pretty much a goner when you called me your guardian angel and then grabbed my hand at the pier. How? I have no idea.”
He loves me. Michael Vaughn loves me.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Lots of reasons. Protocol, fear of rejection. But facing death made me realize a couple of things. First off, screw protocol.”
Sydney laughed out loud.
“God, that feels good to say. More importantly though, I realized that, just like these stars,” glancing up at the heavens again, “I’d been taking the future for granted. Telling myself that if we were meant to be together then we would be—someday. The problem with life is that it has a nasty habit of taking away all of our somedays. If I had died from that virus, that would have been it. Even realizing that, it took something else to finally get my ass in gear.”
“What?”
“Something your mother said to me.”
“What? You’re taking relationship advice from Irina Derevko?”
He laughed mirthlessly. “I didn’t have much of an option. When I first found out that I was infected, I went to her to ask about an antidote. She wouldn’t tell me anything, but she did ask me: ‘are you in love with my daughter?’ I told her that if she helped me, I would tell her what she wanted to know. After you saved my life, I went to her. I held up my end of the bargain and told her, in the simplest terms possible, that my life is so much better when you’re in it. Then she said to me, ‘The problem, Mr. Vaughn, is that to the one person who matters you haven't said anything.’ Syd, she was right. As I watched you walk away from me today, I knew that I had to tell you, consequences be damned.” He ran his hands through his tousled hair. “So just hear me out, ok?”
She nodded, trying not to cry.
“Sydney, I love you. I love your intelligence, and your courage. You put yourself on the line for your friends, your family, for this country. You are full of integrity, and life. I love Agent Bristow, whom I am very certain could kick my ass from here back to France. And I love Syd, who laughs at my bad jokes and talks in her sleep. I just love all of you.”
Sydney’s eyes welled up, threatening to spill over with tears. “Vaughn…”
“You still can’t call me Michael, can ya Bristow?” he said jokingly. His green eyes gazed into her brown ones, and he cupped her face in both of his hands. “Listen, Syd, I more than anyone could name a million reasons why this…us…can’t work.” He leaned forward to softly whisper in her ear, “but here’s one reason that I believe it can.”
With that, he tenderly kissed her cheek where the tears had run a path from her eyes. He gave the other cheek the same treatment, then leaned his forehead against hers. “This…” pressing his lips against hers. The kiss slowly became more intense, as they both relished in this moment that they thought might never come. The stars seemed to swirl overhead, dancing and rejoicing with Sydney and Vaughn.
Tell him, Syd. She smiled as they slowly broke the kiss. “Make that two reasons.”
“Oh, we’re up to two? Do tell.”
“It’s really nothing much, just the fact that...” she took his hand in both of hers and placed it on her chest, directly over her heart. “I love you, Michael Vaughn.”
You want to talk about against protocol. Attention, Dr. Barnett, officially stepping over your precious protocol line now! Psychoanalyze THAT!
“After…after Danny, I promised myself that I would never fall in love again. Love is pain, and I had had enough pain for two people’s lifetimes. Then I met you, and slowly but surely you broke down the walls that I had built. You taught me that love could be painless, the most exhilarating thing in the world. You know me inside out. In you, I have a lover, a friend, a protector. I trust you, and Vaughn, I believe in you.” She smiled, remembering when he had said those same words to her.
He grinned, obviously remembering the same thing. “You do, huh?”
“Yeah. Do you think I’d let just anybody put me in their trunk?”
They both grinned at each other. “C’mere, Bristow.” Vaughn pulled her to him, her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and they both leaned back to watch the stars. “Syd, I don’t know what’s going to happen from here. As much as we’d like it to, SD-6 isn’t going to disappear overnight. The CIA isn’t going to rewrite their handbook because we want them to. For now, at least for me, it’s enough to know that you love me. And I promise you this, our someday WILL come.”
She leaned back to look at his face and smiled. “For me too.” They stayed there, wrapped up in each other’s arms, for several hours. They were together. And it was enough.
end
Posted by Carrie on 12:40 PM