Chapter 4
"Look, I'd love to rib you about agent-to-agent protocol, if for nothing else then to make up for the hell you gave me then. But I can't. I've learned the hard way that if you live and die by protocol, then life itself will escape you."
Chapter 4: And, The Number One Response To Protocol Is...
At around noon on Sunday, Caitlin felt the sunlight pricking her eyelids as she slowly slid from sleep to consciousness. She stretched lazily in her bed, looking over at the clock. Wow, it's been a while since I've slept this late. She swung her legs to the side of the bed and stood up. As she walked to the bathroom, she sent a death glare to the large pile of boxes stacked in front of her window. Maybe if I stare hard enough, they'll unpack themselves.
She had been avoiding unpacking all weekend. That act was so permanent; putting all her belongings in drawers and closets indicated that this whole situation was real. She no longer lived in Austin, with all her friends and family a mere five minutes' drive away. Unpacking meant that she was a permanent resident of Los Angeles, with no family, nothing but a solid purpose to keep her going. That's it, Caitlin, she silently encouraged herself as she turned on the shower. Keep reminding yourself why you're here, and do what you came here to do. This is for David, remember?
She stepped in the shower, leaning her head back to catch the warm spray. In all honesty, being in L.A., away from all the reminders, was good for her. Too bad she couldn't outrun the memories; those had followed her from Texas and still haunted her dreams at night. But the reminders were gone, for that she was grateful. She sent a silent thank you to her director back home. Frank had known that Caitlin was reaching her breaking point, and that she had been running on autopilot for the past six weeks. She smiled when she remembered his speech to her on her last day in Austin. "Sinclair, you're quite possibly the best agent we have, even if you are a woman. You've been the best for ten years, and I'm not going to see that talent go down the drain because of some asshole Colombian. Now get your ass out to L.A. and bring the son of a bitch down. Don't even try to argue with me, you know Brandt would say the same thing."
It was that last statement that got her. David Brandt had never been a coward, and he was never one to let her back down from a challenge. So she packed her bags and requested a transfer to the L.A. office, where she knew she had a fighting chance of bringing Valdez to justice. On her way to the airport, she had stopped by the cemetery. "David, his ass is mine," she had said to the tombstone with a small smile. It had been their favorite line; their conversations over comms during missions had always been filled with crazy lines such as this.
Back in the present, Caitlin sighed as she washed her hair. David, I miss you. So much. He had been her closest friend over the past ten years. She had trusted him with everything. He was so much more to her than a partner. And now he was gone. But she was determined that his death would not be in vain. This op to take down SD-3, and by proxy Valdez, was her one and only shot. She would get her vengeance. The cost? A deal with the devil.
~*~*~
"She's pretty, isn't she." Vaughn sat down on the couch, cell phone to his ear, and smiled at the expression that he was nearly certain was on his best friend's face.
"Entirely beside the point!" Weiss denied half-heartedly.
"Eric, isn't she?"
"Aw hell, of course she is. Just my luck, she's completely gorgeous."
Vaughn grinned widely. About damn time. He often worried about his friend, that he was too wrapped up in his job to ever have a serious relationship. As much as Weiss seemed content with his sarcastic jokes and his infamous yo-yo, Vaughn knew that there was something missing from Eric's life. He wanted to see Eric happy, with a woman that was his match in every way. Someone to laugh at his bad jokes and give as good as she got. Like he and Syd. He looked across the hotel suite to the dining table, where Sydney and Christian were eating breakfast. Christian flicked his spoonful of applesauce at Sydney and then grinned devilishly. She tried to get into "serious mommy" mode, but she couldn't help the laugh that came bursting out.
How in the world did you get so lucky, Vaughn? he asked himself, not for the first time. He had a gorgeous, engaging, fiery wife who loved him with everything she had, and whom he loved fiercely and deeply. Together they had made a beautiful child, who inherited the best of both his parents. Every time Vaughn was tempted to think a situation was impossible, he just had to look at his family and remind himself that three years ago, this had been an impossibility. At that time, it had been dangerous to even look at Sydney, for fear of risking both of their lives. Even without the life and death aspect of it, they were restricted by the standards which CIA agents live by.
Protocol. Three years ago, he couldn't have been with the woman he loved because of protocol. God help him, it amused him more than a little that Eric was now in the same situation. "Ah. So she's gorgeous, and I'm going to assume she's intelligent. Sense of humor?"
"She stole my coffee and my bar joke," Eric whined good-naturedly. His doorbell rang. "Hang on a sec, Mike." He went to the door to pay for the pizza he had ordered. She can definitely appreciate a joke. And she's witty, and she appreciates the delights of a good beer. And she's gorgeous. Can't be said enough. He thanked the pizza guy, and shut the door. "OK, sorry, my gourmet dinner just arrived."
"Large pepperoni?"
"Is there any other kind?"
Vaughn laughed. "Anyway, back to the topic at hand. So we know she's gorgeous, has a great sense of humor and the guts to test the wrath of Yo- Yo...so what's the problem?"
"She's an agent. I'm an agent. As you well remember, Devlin doesn't exactly skip for joy when CIA protocol is breached. Besides, I've known her for three days."
"Eric, when did you first know I was in love with Sydney?"
"The day I had to remind you that your girlfriend's name was Alice."
"Exactly. And I had only known Syd for what, a couple of weeks at the time? You can't clock attraction with a stopwatch. It has a nasty habit of sneaking up on you." Don't I know it. "Look, I'd love to rib you about agent-to-agent protocol, if for nothing else then to make up for the hell you gave me then. But I can't. I've learned the hard way that if you live and die by protocol, then life itself will escape you." Vaughn thought of how many times he had nearly died, without telling Sydney what was in his heart. "As unprofessional as it sounds, when it comes to love, I say screw protocol."
"But this mission...Mike, this guy is dangerous. Valdez is stealthy, he's smart, and he's evil. We don't have the time to be flirting and giving into...whatever this thing is between us. We need all of our time to plan and train. Any little slipup could get her killed." And that was what bothered him most. They were planning this entire op just so she could get within arm's reach of a dangerous criminal. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her. "Caitlin knows him. I don't know how. But she shudders every time I say his name. That history, whatever it is, coupled with the sheer difficulty of this undercover op means that it's crucial to get everything perfect."
Vaughn knew exactly what Eric meant. "Believe me, I know what it does to you. Putting some one you care about..." he stopped when Weiss started to protest. "Oh, shut up. I didn't say you were in love with her, not yet. Just that you're starting to give a damn if she's around or not. Every time Sydney went on a mission, I was a nervous wreck. But honestly? I think several times my feelings for her were what saved us both. I was willing, much more willing than any normal handler would be, to risk my life to spare her harm. That recklessness, while not condoned by your damn 'protocol,' is often the difference between life and death. All I'm saying is, the more you get to know Caitlin, and the deeper your feelings run, the better you'll be able to protect her. There will be more to lose, so you'll be more willing to risk everything to save it. You got me?"
Eric sighed. "Yeah, I got it. Damn, this protocol crap is complicated."
"Welcome to my life, Eric." *My former life,* Vaughn thought as Sydney came to sit with him on the couch. *That's all behind us now.*
"Yeah, and look where it got you," Eric said sarcastically.
Sydney grabbed the phone. "Weiss, I could potentially be very offended by that statement. You know what happens when I get offended?"
"You kick ass," he replied mechanically. It was a running joke between him and Syd. "Don't you think I know who your family is?"
"Damn straight. Don't mess with the Bristows. We're worse than the Mafia." She gave a dimpled smile and rolled her eyes at her husband. She never thought it would happen, but she was actually rather fond of Weiss-banter.
"I'll remember that," he said sarcastically. "Bye Syd."
"Bye Eric. Here's Mike."
Vaughn took the phone back from Syd. "You think that's bad, you should come to one of our Thanksgiving dinners sometime. You'd really see something then."
Eric laughed, the term "SpyFamily Holidays" running through his brain. "I can only imagine. Listen, I have to go. Give Christian a hug for me."
"Will do. And remember Michael Vaughn's number one life lesson...I have a feeling you're gonna need it."
"Which is?"
"Screw protocol."
Posted by Carrie on 11:48 PM