Chapter 5
"Don't ever hesitate to lean on me."
AN: I apologize in advance for the song lyrics. I'm leaving them in so I can laugh at how young and impressionable I was then. (So what if it was only two years ago?)
Chapter 5: Maybe I’m Just Out of My Mind
Eric walked determinedly down the hallway, shaking his jacket out and running his hand through his wet hair. It was damn early on Monday morning, and L.A. was getting some of the worst rain it had seen in months. But he wasn’t going to let that distract him. I’m gonna win this time, dang it. The coffee machine came into view, and to his delight, no one was around. He smiled to himself. “Game, set, and match, Eric Weiss.” He sniffed the rich aroma of the freshly brewed coffee as he reached for a mug from the cupboard. He heard a crash behind him, and turned his head just in time to see Caitlin slam against the counter, breathing heavily.
"God...damn it," she gasped. "I run my ass off and you still beat me." It had become a game between the two of them in the past week. She had tried so hard to make it there before him, but some elderly lady had stopped her in the hallway "just to chat." Caitlin had run as soon as the woman had bid her goodbye, and of course she was too late.
But in all honesty, she didn't care about the coffee. It's more about getting to take it from him again, she thought slyly. She had loved the look of confusion and anger in his eyes, and after all, it had gotten him to notice her. Hi, I'm twelve, she thought to herself with disgust. Great, I've got the CIA agent's equivalent of a junior high crush. Wait, did I just say I had a crush? I've known this guy maybe a week, total. She sneaked a glance at him as she continued to catch her breath. He is cute. And there's something about him...I just feel like I can trust him. He's like David in a lot of ways...except I never wanted to kiss David...oh man, I did not just think that.
In the past hectic days, Caitlin and Eric had had to work together very closely on the plans for the upcoming undercover mission. Spending so much time with him, she had noticed some things about him that were surprising, and admirable. He was loyal to his friends; just last Thursday he had asked her opinion on the right gift to get Ethan and Emma for their baby shower. She was continuingly amused by his biting, self-deprecating humor. Yet when it truly counted, he had an infallible work ethic and serious manner to match the circumstances. Caitlin knew that he took his job as operations leader very seriously, and when it came down to it she truly did trust him with her life.
When her breathing was back to normal, she reached out to grab her own mug. "So, how does that victory cup taste?"
"Not too bad," Eric replied as he sipped his coffee. "By the way, did you have a nice conversation with Edith?" Three, two, one... he counted down in his head.
Her eyes narrowed. "Edith. You know Edith?"
"She's only been my secretary for two years, but yeah, I’d say I know her pretty well." He chuckled to himself. He had known Edith well enough to know that she would readily accept his challenge to "run interference."
Caitlin snorted. "I should have known, Weiss. Sneaky little bastard, sending your secretary to fight your battles. Can't win on your own?"
Eric turned to face her, a devilish smirk on his face. "Depends on the game we're playing," he said cagily, raising an eyebrow.
Did he mean what I thought he meant? Caitlin wondered with confusion. Their gazes met, and she swore she could feel the electricity shooting from his brown eyes to her blue ones. She shook her head. I have GOT to stop doing that. She leaned her back against the cabinet, cradling her mug in both of her hands. “Anything eventful happen this weekend?”
Yeah, I dreamed of you last night, he thought silently. Okay, that was random. Or maybe not so much, Eric, you can’t deny that you’re attracted to her. He knew that she was beautiful; any man could appreciate her at face value. But in the few short days he had known her, he sensed something more behind her looks, and those incredible eyes. He sensed an integrity that was sorely lacking in so many people. A spirit that would not be repressed. Even so, he felt such sorrow emanating from her at times. He wished they were close enough for her to share what had put that sorrow there. And though he'd never been the protective type, he felt this incredible urge to take away that pain, to punish whoever had dared hurt her. Eric thought back to what Vaughn had said—”the more you get to know Caitlin, and the deeper your feelings run, the better you’ll be able to protect her. There will be more to lose, so you'll be more willing to risk everything to save it.” He prayed that Mike was right, that his feelings for Caitlin would help save her life rather than get her killed.
Dang, guess I should answer her question, or she’ll be convinced I’m deaf and dumb. "Yeah, my buddy Mike and I talked for a while yesterday. He and his wife Sydney are coming back from vacationing in Paris on Friday, I'm supposed to pick them up at the airport."
Caitlin reached into Eric's jacket pocket, pulled out his wallet, and flipped to the picture of Vaughn, Sydney, and Christian. "Them?" She laughed at Eric’s puzzled expression. "Don't look so confused. I saw the picture when you were paying at the pub last week; I was curious who they were."
"Yeah, this is Michael and Sydney Vaughn, with their son, my godson, Christian." He looked at the happy couple in the picture, with their green-eyed, dimpled son, and chuckled. "Mike and Syd are poster children for how NOT to behave in the CIA." Weiss winced, thinking about how he used to rag Mike about his feelings for Sydney, protocol, yadda yadda ad nauseum. The tables, how they are a-turning, he thought.
"Sydney’s an agent too?"
"Retired. She was a major player in bringing down SD-6. When they went under, she was finally able to finish her English Lit degree; now she's a high school English teacher."
"So, let me guess. They broke the sacred and holy 'protocol.'" She rolled her eyes, showcasing her opinion of protocol.
Eric laughed. "And how. Devlin nearly exploded with fury when he got a wedding invitation. 'Ludicrous. An agent marrying her handler, what an insidious breach of protocol,'" Eric said, mimicking Devlin. "But I think Devlin was more upset to be losing Syd as an agent. In fact, he once told me that you rivaled her in sheer spy intuition."
Caitlin raised an eyebrow. "Really? I'm honored," she said jokingly.
"That's high praise, Sinclair. Y'know, Syd had the same problems with Chapman as you do. I'm sure she could give you some pointers."
"Somebody mention my name?" a slick voice sounded behind Weiss.
Eric clenched his teeth and turned to face Chapman. "Yeah, Ron, I was just telling Agent Sinclair about that time you asked Bristow on a date. Funny story, right? How long were you sporting that bruise, one, two weeks?"
Chapman grinned. "What can I say, Bristow doesn’t know what she's missing. But believe me, Caitlin darling--" he winked suggestively at her, "I’d take you over her any day. My offer is still good, why don't you come back to my place tonight?"
"What's that I see? Is that pigs flying over California? No? Then sorry pal, it’s not your lucky day. Go find some other girl to slime all over."
Chapman's eyes narrowed. "Very clever, ice queen. Too bad I didn't get you before you left Austin."
"What the hell does that mean?" She clenched her fists around her coffee mug.
"Word on the street is, you were pretty friendly with your male co-workers back in Texas. Especially Brandt." Caitlin's face went white. "Yeah, you were real cozy with him, weren't you? But wait, something happened to him, what was it...ah, now I remember."
Caitlin started visibly shaking, and Weiss stepped forward and put his hand around Chapman’s bicep. "Time for you to go."
"Not just yet, Weiss. You need to hear this too, wouldn't want you to get into the habit of screwing the Black Widow Agent over here, she just might get you killed someday. Just like Brandt."
Caitlin's eyes filled with tears, and her coffee mug dropped to the floor and shattered. She stood there for a second, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, then she fled, running towards the main exit.
Weiss slammed Chapman up against the wall. "Asshole, you have exactly enough time for me to go after her. That is the only head start you will get. After that, you might consider staying out of my way, or I will put you out of my way." With that, he threw Chapman to the ground and started running after Caitlin.
~*~*~
Caitlin didn't know where she was going. She just knew she had to run, away from Chapman, away from Eric, away from the memories of David and that horrible night. All my fault, all my fault, she chanted in her head. She ran through the pouring rain, slipping every so often on the wet pavement. All she could hear was the thunder that seemed to rumble deep into her heart.
There’s nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I’m listening but there’s no sound
Eric ran out into the storm, looking left and right for a sign of her. He saw her blond head about a block to the left, and started sprinting after her. “Caitlin!” he called. He didn't know why it was so urgent to get to her. But he knew she was hurting, about to break. He had to catch her when she fell.
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
Caitlin ran until she came to a small cluster of trees in the courtyard of a business complex. She ran to the trees to get some shelter from the storm. She huddled under one of them, shivering and crying all at the same time. David, I'm so sorry David. I never meant for it to happen. I should have been faster, tried harder to get to you. She wept bitterly, her heart aching for all that she had lost and for the loneliness she felt.
I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here, I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone
Eric stopped running suddenly when he saw that blond head bent, that small body huddled under the trees. He walked slowly over to Caitlin's shivering form. "Caitlin?" He knelt down beside her and put his hands on her updrawn knees. "Caitlin, look at me. It's Eric. I'm not gonna hurt you." I couldn't hurt you. It would kill me inside. He smiled softly as she lifted her head. "Hey there."
"Eric, Chapman was lying. You have to know that."
"I know. He was just trying to upset you."
She nodded shakily. "The man he was talking about was not my boyfriend, or a lover. David Brandt..." she exhaled slowly, "was my partner, my best friend. I trusted him with my life, and vice versa. And I let him get killed, I watched him die."
Eric got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Caitlin...I’m sorry."
"That’s why I moved to L.A. I want to get the man who killed him. I owe David that much."
"Valdez." Suddenly everything became clear in Eric's mind.
"Valdez," she affirmed, saying the name as if it were a curse. "Two months ago, we were on an op, trying to infiltrate Valdez's organization. David was captured, and when I went to rescue him Valdez had a gun to his head. He told me..."
"Go on, baby, it's OK." Eric grabbed her hands and intertwined his fingers with hers.
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm with you
She tried to hold back the second wave of tears. "He told me that he would let David live if I agreed to sleep with him. David was frantically trying to tell me not to do it, but what else could I do? Valdez reached out his hand for mine, I took it...and he shot David through his eyes." She couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore.
Eric resisted the urge to smash his fist through the tree. Sadistic, evil son of a bitch! He grabbed Caitlin’s shaking shoulders. "Listen to me. What happened to David was NOT YOUR FAULT. You know that. And honey, wherever he is...I don't know, heaven...he knows that too. OK?" She said nothing, her body still wracked with sobs.
"And I am going to promise you, right now, that we will bring Valdez down. If I have to, I will kill him personally. No matter how, I will destroy him, even if it takes everything I have."
Caitlin shook her head. "Eric, this isn't your fight. It's mine."
Eric exhaled impatiently. "Well, I just made it mine. We're in this together, Sinclair, whether you like it or not."
She nodded slowly. "OK." Thank you, God. I needed an angel. She smiled. "Wow, only a week on the job and I'm already crying on your shoulder. I'm so sorry." She avoided his eyes as she tried to get up.
Eric kept his hands on her shoulders, keeping her from rising. He took her chin in one hand and forced her to look at him. "Caitlin, believe me when I say this: Anytime. Day or night, rain," he gestured to the tempest that still raged around them, "whatever. Don't ever hesitate to lean on me."
Caitlin looked at him through the wet strands of hair in her face. He was soaked, rain rolling down his face and beating on his back. But at the moment, he was just what she needed. "I won't. I try to stay all badass and independent, but you have no idea how much I just want someone to depend on." She fiercely wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I'm right here," he said tenderly as he put his arms around her small waist. He laid his forehead against hers, and all of a sudden the mood changed. Eric no longer wanted just to protect her. He wanted to...Hell, Weiss, you know what you want. It's what you've wanted every time you look at her, he told himself. But did she want the same thing?
Why is everything so confusing?
Caitlin looked into Eric's eyes and gave a simple nod. That nod said everything she was afraid to say. As their mouths inched closer together, they both wondered what the hell they were getting themselves into.
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Their lips touched, tentatively at first, then the kiss deepened. Eric and Caitlin lost themselves. They forgot Valdez. They ignored the rain that was still pounding all around them. All either was aware of was this moment, and this kiss. He was with her, and she was with him, and for the moment, that's all that mattered.
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm with you
Posted by Carrie on 12:03 AM